In 5 years, I will be 31…almost 32 years old. When I was growing up I used to think that by 26 (my current age) that I would have it all together. Some days I am lucky if I can find matching socks, and I just constantly think about how I still don’t feel like a grown up. For a long time I thought once I graduated college and got married I would feel like a grown up, but I did graduate, I got married and I still was waiting for that feeling of being an adult. Then I thought…once I have a baby I will for sure feel like a grown up… and I had a baby. What I can say is this… While I no doubt have many more responsibilities and my days of being completely carefree are gone… I am still waiting for that adult to appear. Maybe everyone feels like that. I will never be as grown up as my parents. I will always look to them for advice and I will constantly feel unsure…and maybe that’s even okay. However, today I started thinking about my life and what it would look like in an ideal world.
At 32…I see my sweet little baby, almost 6 years old. Maybe I even see an addition or two to the family by then. I see my days wrapped up in hugs, kisses, and smiles. I’m not sure what it means for my career. I love the idea of being a stay at home mom. I think that is my ultimate goal. I want to be more involved in my church and community. I might want to volunteer with domestic violence victims or children in violent homes. I want to feel like I’m not just going through the motions like I am these days. Get up, get myself ready, get Emma ready, go to work, get Emma dinner, get me and Mike dinner, give Emma a bath, short play time, put her to bed, clean up house, do homework, go to bed. Repeat. I would never trade even a second of my precious time with Emma or Mike… but I want to learn to relish and enjoy every single moment…even the repetitive moments. My whole life has just been a “if I can get to this..then I will..” and I want to not worry at all about anything…and I want to be content in all situations. I want to find the good and happiness in wherever I am. I know I don’t have a PERFECT life… but I have a pretty great one…with really great people who I love and I know love me.
How does everyone else get through the monotony of everyday life (chores, responsibilities)?
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